My wife is a beautiful woman, still so young looking that when she was with our 11-year-old grandson recently, one man asked her if our grandson was her son.
Me, I’m more attractively-challenged, and I readily accept that. Oh, I used to have some confidence, but I don’t let it go to my head. (I’m aging gracefully, you know!) But only recently I realized how “challenged” I truly am.
A couple days before Christmas my wife and I were baking cookies well into the night, and about 1 a.m. she tells me she has to pluck one of my eyebrows, so I reluctantly agreed. She pulled one hair, then another, plucked a third, a fourth and after number five, I said, “That’s it! I don’t care how many more you see, I’m done.”
Then she said those words that only a deeply caring wife and beautiful woman could say to her husband: “I’m trying really hard to make you look…..okay.”
Yes, she did pause before selecting that one perfect word to describe how, with her guidance and hard work, I might sometimes rise to the level of looking….”Okay.”
As I said, I know I’m not handsome, but I had not realized that I was so close to being hideous that it was only through my wife’s hard work that I could be elevated - - maybe only sometimes - - to being at the level of … “okay.”
I’ll try to be better at only walking in the shadows or running my errands at night to save the masses from having to deal with the horrors of…well…seeing me. My special apologies to any little children whom I may have frightened beyond repair…I did not set out to cause them nightmares.
Please excuse me now, as I need to practice my yell of “Sanctuary! Sanctuary!” from the church steeple!!
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